Opening of the Way


When it feels like you can’t go on, as if there is nothing worth living for, nothing worth doing, there is an Opening of the Way. There is a depression that creeps upon a soul one day. A deep, dark knowing, that there is nothing more that one can do. Nothing more that one can be, aspire to, contemplate, hope for. The feeling is dense, heavy. It is oppressive, it is malignant, it is all-encompassing. Through it, the world looks like Hell on Earth. Friends have become enemies or disappeared altogether, family members have left you to your own devices, you are cast off, adrift, loveless.

The sun rises and darkness descends. At night, a restless searchlight of supernal accuracy haunts your ceaseless tossings and turnings. The seconds and minutes plod by as you are mired, unable to escape, caught within the quicksand-like pulling of mental imagery and emotional tides, tossing you to and fro in lava-like waves of pain and heartache.  All seems lost.

Even within the general trend of this depressive mode of being, the brighter days seem like storms, while the darkest days seem to be endless moments in purgatory, your every nightmare realized.  It is in these times that you recognize the sheer horror of endless suffering. What it must truly be like, to be damned.

And, of course, you wonder if you are. Between dark instances of sheer terror, the contemplation of depression, of life, of pain, of heartache, then takes you down ever further, spiraling into a void of infinite blackness, a sea of nothing that calls your name remorselessly, soft and echoing like an intimate lover, seeking your eternal embrace.

Until one day, you answer.

You let go. You give in to the forces that seem to strong to resist. You release your hold on your trauma. You acknowledge the agony and you embrace it, you lose yourself in it and you fall, down into the dark abyss, arms and legs akimbo, heart wide open, soul yearning for an end to finally come. And as you fall thusly, your body shudders with the sheer force of the release, every cell and molecule shifting between states of being as you are wracked by the most terrible, fitful emotional state that you have ever experienced.

And then, something is born.

Somewhere deep beneath you, a light appears. Small at first, barely a pinpoint. And then growing larger as you hurtle toward it at the speed of soul.  Simultaneously, within you, something else is happening. There is joy. Rising like a tide, a tiny glimmer of scintillating happiness that rises to confront the pain, mixing and melding with it, surging in power as the light increases, both encompassing the entirety of your perception as your body vibrates, tunes into something higher, using the power of love in its opposition poles as a harmonic resonator that brings to bear a greater, more profound power that is more real, more powerful, more transcendent than anything that you’ve ever felt or contemplated before.

The tears you shed and the grief-stricken cries you cry then mix with laughter and gasps of wonder and pain as your body is filled with vibratory forces beyond your comprehension, your mind and soul blasted by this utter realization of perfection, of peace, and of the wonder and joy of life itself.  As you drift in this space of new and transcendent awareness, you bask in bliss, beyond light and dark, and yet, this is only the beginning. The doorway has cracked and, if you are ready, it may be opened.

Do you want to know, what is on the Other Side?

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2 Comments

  1. Right, when “the search” loses its ability to fascinate us, the ego experiences a primal sense of disappointment, which is actually a sign of availability. Until then, we were committed to some program that was purported to make us happy (whether material or spiritual), but when that program is recognized as futile (in terms of its ability to really grant true peace at heart), something gives up, and at that point, a clear space opens up for us to really “see”.

    Blessings!

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