Insane Thoughts and Crazy Talk: Who are you, really?


There seems to be a lot of negativity going around in the last few days. Wherever I turn, wherever I look someone is ready to start a fight and someone else is there too, ready to end it.

Perhaps it is mercury retrograde right now, but communications are at a standstill. People are standing on virtual street-corners screaming out their truths and not caring who is listening or responding back. The babble is continuous and it is rising as space weather increases and the sun pops off flare after flare, as things go downhill even further in the Middle East and elsewhere in the world, as politics in the USA heat up, as our lives continue to progress along their winding paths and our personal dramas ratchet up a notch or three, all connected, all beholden to the same energetic input that must find its resolution through some form of activity, some means of resolution. All of the voices, shouting, screaming, crying, complaining, querulous and fearful at heart, the anger, the rage but a front masking the underlying terror. Despite the noise, there seems to be no resolution possible. They all can’t seem to hear each other because the chatter in their own minds is too loud.

The chatter that lies between the stillness that is your Truth and the world without. The chatter that is continuous for some people. The chatter that streams forth in a constant volley of unthinking discursiveness for some, the chatter that is released after considered but still inadequate rumination in others.

The chatter that it is our goal in life to still.

What? You can still the chatter?

Yes. You can.

But why would I want to still the chatter? It is my thoughts!

No, it is your ego’s thoughts. You are not your ego. 

But my ego is my personality! My history, my life, my experiences! My likes, my dislikes, everything! My ego is who I am!

That is what most everybody thinks. That is what our life experiences seem to tell us, at least. The life experiences that make up our personal history. Our childhoods with our parents and siblings, our time in school, our friends, our secrets and our shames, our triumphs and our joys. These are the things that we count on to represent our journey through life, these are the things that we recount when people ask us about ourselves, who we are, what our biography is, what our life is about. For those of us who are a bit more thoughtful, we might even put them in some sort of topical order and call that our path through life, as if the details of our journey are the sum of our experience and make up the totality of what we have gained along the way.

What do you mean, I am not my ego?

Your ego is limited. You are limitless.

Remember. Think back. Examine your memories. For many of you, there will be at least one that is characterized by stillness. By some moment or collection of moments when you looked around at the world and you realized that you were a part of it. There were no thoughts in this memory. Only wonder, what some might call an epiphany. It might have been when you were looking at a newborn baby, or a loved one, or a pet, or even a sunset or some other scene of natural beauty. Some moment in your life when you got it, when you understood that you were a part of something grander than the petty dramas of your life, the likes and dislikes, the hatreds and loves.

Many of us have these memories because, in those moments, we had connected with something within ourselves that is usually hidden. Something quiescent but that is always present, that is always there, watching, behind the thoughts, behind the imagination, behind the memories, behind the emotions. Something still. Something pervasive. Something that is definitely present, that is recording every single instant, every thought, every iota of information both conscious and unconscious that passes before your eyes, that crosses your mind. If you stop, right now, close your eyes and sit for a moment, turning your attention inward toward your thoughts, delving deeper than the discursive chatter that typifies the mental workings of most people, you will catch a glimpse of that something. Try it.

But what is it?

It is you.

But isn’t it the same thing as my ego? My personality?

No. 

It is what remains when your personality is gone. It is what remains when your ego dissolves. It is what remains when you die. It is consciousness. It is unbound, it is eternal, it is infinite. It is awareness. It is vast, it is inscrutable, it is impenetrable.

There are many spiritual traditions that attempt to describe it but since it is indescribable, they resort to parables, riddles and koans. It can only be experienced. It can only be realized through intense inner scrutiny and personal mental work for the purpose of stilling the discursive tendency of the ego in order to get behind it, to get beyond it, to get to the crux of who you are. It is the meaning of the ancient saying, Know Thyself. It is the meaning of the ancient truism, As Above, So Below. it is the meaning of the ancient recognition that God is Within.

It is the most ancient of mysteries, hidden in plain sight, shouting out its presence to those deaf to its voice. It is the space of emptiness that is not emptiness, the creative void of potential within each of us that connects us to the creative void of potential that is the Multiverse itself, that is God itself. It is where the many gods and goddesses spring from, much like humanity itself, it is where the nature spirits and the ultradimensional consciousnesses arise, descend through the levels of materialization and take on form, where God splits and multiplies unto infinity playing at separation to experience itself in all of its diverse unity, a multitude of seemingly cacophonous voices expressing the will of one overriding consciousness, one overriding life, one overriding love.

Wait, all of that is too much. My life is hard enough just dealing with the daily grind.

It is not enough. You must realize. You cannot Awaken until you do.

But why? Why can’t I just live my life? Why do I have to think about things like this?

That is exactly the problem. Too much thinking.

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