Does anybody know anyone who is just so negative in their outlook that whenever they talk to you, either it’s about nothing, or it’s about something that’s happened to them? They complain about everything all the time, even when good things happen, or they’re afraid to try things because of the negative things that may happen as a result?
It seems like these people see the ugly side of everything and they never stop to appreciate the positive aspects of life, or, whenever the seem to do so, it’s only because they’re practically forced to do so by the sheer insistence and presence of people around them who are, in that moment, enjoying life and basically infecting the environment with a positive charge.
What do you do when a person like this is in your life? When you have a friend who has a friend who is like this, causing your friend to come to you complaining all the time? Or, when you have a friend who is like this and their energy-sucking capabilities just leave you drained? Or, Heaven forbid, your husband, wife, significant other, boyfriend or girlfriend is like this and you’ve endured the energy drain for days, weeks, months, years or maybe even decades?
How does it affect you? What can you do about it? The first thing that has to be done is to recognize these people, which seems to be the easiest part, right? I mean, who doesn’t recognize it when someone is moaning, whining and complaining all the time and always has something negative to say? It should be obvious, shouldn’t it?
Well, what seems obvious isn’t always so. Because many times, we don’t recognize these individuals at first because, guess what, we’re complaining all the time and being negative with them, and we are also the type of person who drain others of their energy with our continual dramas and problems with other people, situations and daily life! We’re the ones who aren’t satisfied with our lives, who don’t like our mates, who hate our jobs, who are pissed at the kids all the time, who think our friends are really our enemies and who, in the final analysis, really hate ourselves.
That’s weird, huh, turning the mirror back upon one’s Self that way, but think about it. We only draw the type of energy into our lives that reflects some aspect of ourselves. The Sages say that the things we hate most about other people are the things that we hate most about ourselves, which is why they also say that there’s a thin line between Love and Hate. Because Self-Love and Self-Hate are both forms of introspection, one having to do with Positivity and the other with Negativity, Right?
Wrong. We all are One. Nothing is External, All is Internal, which really just consolidates the above understanding and makes what’s going on outside of yourself an internal, personal issue, rather than an external, impersonal issue.
Are you ready and willing to take responsibility for the Middle East Crisis? How about World Hunger? What about murder and rape, child abuse and incest, deforestation and the raping of the natural world? The holes in the ozone layer, global warming, animal cruelty and unchecked consumption of material goods, all of this, above and beyond which to include the multivariate problems and perversions that make up the human tapestry and exist alongside the beauty and goodness of giving, of sharing, of loving and being, of existence and appreciation of life?
And what does any of this have to do with that negative person in your life?
I sometimes find myself with that person and listening, nodding agreement about some point about the world situation, a person we might know in common who is just scandalous, some betrayal or other in someone else’s life, or a bad experience with a mechanic. But by listening, participating and by agreeing with all of these examples of the trials that life brings us, we are agreeing subconsciously that the negative aspects of life are worthy of being elevated to the point of extended conversational manifestation, which really means that we are giving them power. By concentrating on the negative, we empower the negative.
Is it coming clear, now? What one has to do with the other? As above, so below.
By the media concentrating for 24 Hours a day (CNN, FOX News, MSNBC) on the many world Crises, it empowers them, which then gains a psychic and emotional strength that encompasses and influences our shared collective unconscious, infecting the dreams and desires of the entire world’s population with this singular vision of destruction and mayhem.
By participating in corporate culture, which is invested in and endorsed by millions across the “Civilized World” (through 401K plans, Retirement and other investment opportunities) we are empowering these corporations to act in our interests, to preserve the status quo and continue the neo-liberal deprivations which have resulted in the rich continuing to get richer and the poor continuing to fight for the last dregs, festering at the bottom of a toxic, plastic barrel discarded in the farthest, dirtiest dumpsite from western civilization that you could ever imagine or even reach.
By supporting the system, engaging in the system, we keep the system going, we feed it, the fear that we inject into it through our participation keeps it afloat. It keeps the stock market fluctuating, it keeps the corporations from sinking, it keeps the politicians employed, it keeps the unfair legal system, the thug police, the office politics constant and steady external negativities that seem real but that are really illusory, holograms of our shared, collective reality.
We do so – those of us who can afford to (and many of us who can’t that wish we could are equally culpable) – in the name of security; in the name of providing for ourselves and our children; in the name of providing for the future. I wonder, sometimes, what future that is, and if it is a future worth living in. All of these things are really different aspects of fear. Fear that we see in others, who we project our fear onto and who reflect it back into our faces. It is said, that which we hate most about others is that which we hate most about ourselves.
We all are One. So that negativity that we cultivate when we engage with negative individuals is a negativity that is within us, just as it is within them. We must always look to Self before we look to others to blame or castigate, even though it feels good to do so.
When I began writing this article, I was fully intending upon prescribe a course of action to follow when encountering such individuals, because I have one or two in my life that just drain me so much; when I’m around them it feels like, the more energy that is depleted from me, the stronger, the louder and the more strident their conversation gets! This energy depletion effect is so powerful, so real, that you get tired and kind of depressed just thinking about a time recently when it has happened to you, don’t you? I do.
But the writing led me here, instead, right back to myself and my own issues, the mirror held up, my own two baby browns staring right back at me. Go figure.
Many texts speak of the energy-siphoning phenomena and the different types of people whom one encounters during the course of one’s day, week, month, year or lifetime. Since it is established that people do indeed act as psychic or emotional vampires and prey upon each other for their own psychic/emotional energy needs, understanding this fact and how it manifests in our lives is a defensive strategy that we all need to implement just to get through the days of our lives with peace of mind and the ability to concentrate on our individual paths. There are very specific strategies that one can employ in order to minimize the effect these people have on you, all of them in some way concerned with giving, sending or sharing Love with these people in order to offset the enmity and fear with which they engage the world.
I fully concur with these strategies, with only the added caveat that it takes continual practice to be able to retain love in one’s own heart especially when dealing with these people in the moment and remembering, always, that we brought them into our spheres of influence in the first place, so there was something about them or in them that we resonated to and liked. If we brought them into our lives because we were complaining about a specific issue or thing at some point and they were on about that too – and our entire relationship thereafter was built upon a shared disdain and distrust of the world – then it is incumbent upon us to remove those individuals from our lives, if we have grown to the point where we are attempting to remove the negative processes within ourselves, first.
Nobody likes a hypocrite. Or anybody who is holier than thou. Because it eventually becomes transparent, doesn’t it?
People who claim to be Saints, cast judgment upon others and who seem to be oh, so very elevated spiritually, eventually trip and fall, cursing and revealing their fragile humanity to their amused and vindictive oh, so human audiences. False Prophets, Know-It-All Pundits, Talking Heads, That Kid Down the Hall, your Best Friend, Next Door Neighbor, you name them – any and all of them, or us, as the case may be – the business of self-transformation is a lifelong processthat requires years of introspection, meditation, prayer and attendance to one’s own thought-processes and actions, as well as an ever-increasing understanding of humanity, the world around us and the worlds beyond us.
Individuals who have reached this stage of transpersonal development virtually shine, and, if you are in their presence, it is immediately apparent that they are not your average everyday homeboy or girl. Even online, you can tell the difference, in the modes of writing or talking, an internal consistency of philosophical or spiritual knowledge that confirms Direct Experience of the Divine, of Gnosis. It cannot be faked for long.
So. The next time you find yourself trapped in an elevator with that person, you know the one I’m talking about, instead of lashing out at them, take a look within yourself and try to figure outwhy this person thinks that they can just come to you and jack your energy all willy nilly, and then, deal with those parts of yourself that have previously bought into that mindset and gossiping, negative conversational mode. If you’re at a place mentally and emotionally where you can do so, send them an earnest wish for happiness and peace the next time you sit down in meditation or kneel in prayer.
While watching the news or reading political blogs or sites, cultivate a sense of peace and positivity regarding the outcome of the many wars and rumors of wars, the insistence upon End Time beliefs and World Changes being, in recent weeks, subjects of increasing media focus. When I watch CNN, or MSNBC and see a panel seriously talking about the Biblical Armageddon or 2012, I wonder what is going on and who gave them permission to do so, and whose material, worldly agenda does it serve? Who is it that believes that they know the day and the hour?
Beyond the political and economic ramifications of that apparent fear-mongering, it is increasingly obvious to all that the world we live in is, indeed, changing, perhaps cataclysmically. Through that change, whenever and however it occurs, all we are truly responsible for is ourselves and the state of our individual souls.
We can only change the world by changing ourselves. But we can only change ourselves by changing our worlds. In this view, then, the Realization of Oneness is the key to everything. Does that sound crazy to y’all?