Something Real


At some point I became lucid, aware that I was dreaming. My Guru and I were intent upon confronting a Witch (a feminine soul of conscious, and unbound, potentiality) of sorts, and I – and perhaps one other – was to engage her directly, while he observed, entering the contest only if necessary. The dreamscape was quixotic, and all I can remember was a severely urbanized environment, the structures wierdly gyrated and elongated, with senseless egresses and entrances. The point of my fixation and conscious entry into the dreamscape turned out to be nearer the ending rather than the beginning, the rest having been lost to the wilds of the subconscious, although I vaguely recall opening doors, and seeking…something, with these two companions, a sojourn, during the course of which, my Guru continued to instruct us in the ways of navigating surrealistic landscapes in a conscious manner.

At this stage, we became aware that the Witch was nearby, in one of the wierd buildings. We had been after her for a while and this was, apparently, the culminaton of an arduous adventure. There was another with us who felt equal to me in status, although I cannot remember who he was or even what he looked like. I felt comraderie with him and a shared sense of purpose. We entered the building and came upon the Witch in a large room above the surface level, filled with senseles structures and moving parts reminiscent of Rube Goldberg contraptions, spinning, chugging and burping, busily coursing up and down in what seemed to be the internal workings of some gargantuan, anthropomorphic behemoth.  We spied her, My Guru, I and perhaps the other, I cannot remember seeing him again, as we explore on opposite sides of the room. We faced her as she stood on the other side of a sectioned wall, visble to us through a long window, engaged in some inscrutable purpose and yet aware – albeit unconcerned – of our presence.

It was then that I became something else, some part of the building and its associated machinery and I recall myself connected to some kind of structure, moving up and down, closer and further away from her, and her amusement permeated the room. I could feel myself becoming lost in the identity of the structure, a remorseless complacency and sense of purpose replacing the single-mindedness of our mission. It is at that point that I clearly remember my Guru saying, as if from a far distance, “Touch something real.”

My next cycle nearest the Witch I noticed that the wall beneath the window had become permeable and there was a startlingly vibrant, green floor on the other side that I quickly realized was grass. It was grass, simple and yet extraordinarily detailed, with each blade spanning the gamut of green, from light-almost-yellow to a deep, luscious emerald. All of the other elements of the dreamscape seemed washed out and pale by comparison. The Witch was turned away from the window although close enough for me to reach, had I hands to touch her with. The contempt of her demeanor and stance, taken alongside the fact that she had caused my involuntary transformation, made it clear that she discounted me and my ability to regain my former state of consciousness, apparently believing that my individuality had already been subsumed by the living structure around us.

I touched the grass and returned instantly to bipedal form. I touched her on her shoulder and she stiffened and turned partly in total surprise. My feeling of triumph coalesced with her auric sense of defeat, causing the dreamscape to swirl in tumultous acknowledgement of our shifting consciousnesses.

At that moment I became aware of my Guru, and his previous words echoed across the surreal vista once again, ghost-like, “Touch something real.” 

I looked again at the grass, reaching down to touch it, actually feeling its texture and consistency upon the tips of my fingers and I awoke, instantly.

“Touch something real…”

I shifted in the bed, getting up and walking downstairs into the living room. I sat on the floor in a meditative stance; half-lotus, my fingers assuming the chin mudra. My mind swirled as I tried to remember the dream, simultaneously attempting to observe my thoughts, and yet go deeper into the meditative state.

I soon realized my excitement was getting the best of me and concentrated on the breath until, after 10, 15 minutes, my thoughts began to still and the space behind Ego revealed itself to me once again. My Guru’s words came to me then, “Touch something real”, drifting across the surface of my consciousness and something shifted, moved, in a directionless sense, back, further into something larger, all-encompassing, and I experienced the sensation of shadows moving across a lighted background, although there was no external source of ambient light – or material energies, moving across my field of vision – strong enough to create such patterns. This passed quickly, heralding the birth of deep purple, red, green blobs of lightforms that pulsed from down to up, before coalescing in a dance of purposeful patterning, the swirling colors that swam through the sea of blackness then concentrating in a pinpointed, spiraling motion while the feeling of vertigo caused by all of this activity increased the sensation of movement, although I was sitting still, in my living room. I felt myself touching, somespace, somewhen, somewho, something real, beyond me, beyond the sense of Ego. Some core function of consciousness, while simultaneously being intimately aware of my outer surroundings.

I basked for a short while, reveling in the sensation of quietude and infinite potential before returning to a waking state. Leaving it and returning to illusory life was a choice made in acknowledgement of my worldly responsibilities, but I know that I will continue to explore this space, whateveritis, until I move beyond that, and find something real. My recent life experiences and the appearance in my material life of Avatars – souls who have come into my life and who serve very transformatory purposes – have served to put me on notice that movement occurs when we call it into our lives, and I have been calling for years. Breaking past the hold of the Ego and the tie to the illusory worlds we have created is a nice idea, but only an idea until we decide to actually do something about it. To go within and seek to break through the bonds of the past and future, of experience and desire. To go within and find out, truly, who you are and what you want.  To go within and touch something real, dissipating the illusions during the process and coming closer and closer to whateveritis that lies beyond the Rings of Reality at ever-spiraling points of conscious awareness.

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