Have you ever felt like you weren’t moving? Were not progressing? Were in a place of stasis, where every attempt you made to go forward was met by an invisible-but-irresistable force that kept you still, thoughts whirling furiously, frantically, mind wondering why?
You attempt to get ahead on the job but you are met with resistance from your co-workers and boss in the little things; the woman in the stall next to you won’t let you borrow her stapler; the guy down at the front door on security checks your badge just a bit longer than everyone else every day and you’re just wondering, why me? Or, your boyfriend, whom you want to leave, is suddenly the nicest person you ever met and all of the things you’d ever thought about him seemed suddenly non-existent? How about that friend who has always been there for you, changing up, becoming suddenly short-tempered and decidely non-friend-like? What in the world is going on?!
What do you do in times like this? Do you continue to press forward or stop for a moment to examine your motivations? Is it true that we are the Deciders? That our Will is paramount and that we can, if we desire it badly enough, do anything and everything that we choose?
Are there outside forces that act upon us in ways that restrict our free choice and possibilities?
Is it possible that other people can be agents of these outside forces? That greater forces are at work that move us inexorably in certain directions despite our invocation of choice, that Fate is, indeed, the ultimate Decider?
As an intriguing example, the convoluted and philosophically dense Matrix series examines these questions in detail, seeming to finally conclude that Fate and Free Will align outside of the limited purview of human consciousness at the level of archetypes and powers outside of space and time, relative to nothing that we understand – with our limited 5 senses – as stable, or real. The Architect and the Oracle, representing Yin and Yang – and representing greater forces of cause and effect – formed a duality that circumscribed Neo’s possibilities completely, his ruminations regarding his Free Will becoming, in the end, the fulfillment of yet another example of futile railings against the depradations of an endless series of non-linear prophetic threads that run through societal discourse the world across.
Where is the point of egress? Do you find yourself looking for it? Finding yourself stuck, do you search your life events, examining each moment and action, seeking a way out of the quagmire? Do you eagerly await the next synchronicity which may provide you with a way forward? Do you go within and examine your motivations after all? Find out if you are being true to yourself? Do you even know what being true to yourself is? Who you are? What you want?
And, if you do know who you are and what you want, does the stasis that you find yourself in suddenly make sense? Is it a waiting place, a purgatory of sorts between one lifestyle and another? Between one choice and the other? Between this person and that one? Between this place and the next?
It’s funny how, so many times, once we calm down, cultivate our silence and peace, go within and actually look and see where it is that we are within ourselves, that it becomes clear where we are outside of ourselves. Why the things in our lives manifest the way they do, why we are going through the drama, the mess, the pain, the frustration. And, equally amazing, is the fact that once we come to this realization, by doing an end run around the ego and seeking gnosis – by engaging the Self – suddenly, things open up, the resistance that you felt from people, events, things, seems to dissipate into thin air and the synchronicities that you have been waiting for begin to manifest and you find the path into the future opening wide, allowing you entrance into a place filled with light, love and understanding.
But more than that, you find yourself clear, even if only until the next experience of resistance arrives, and the entire process starts all over again. The ultimate realization is that this process can end with the understanding that perception is key, as is self-knowledge. Perception of forces in the outside world, their relation to your current state of mind and experiences, and your perception of yourself and your ego’s attempts to distract you from the Now, as well as its desire to keep you regretting (Past) and worrying (Future), and definitely not seeking within for self-knowledge, or paying attention without, for synchronicitous events.
But then, maybe all of this is just the echo of ruminations, thought spent in the imaginations of a febrile and slightly-off-kilter mind. Or, maybe, it just takes a little bit’a soul to get from there to here, where us crazy folk reside.