Manifestation of Being: I desire


1. Divinity/Multiversal Awareness/G-d knows us each more intimately than our ego-bound consciousnesses ever could.

2. Words define, limit and circumscribe possibility.

3. By allowing the free flow of Divinity/Multiversal Awareness/G-d, we free Creation to create the life of our dreams.

I was thinking tonight, as I was driving to the store. I know I know, I think only when I must. In this instance, I was thinking that, often, we get exactly what we ask for. By that I mean, that if we fixate upon an object or person, if we want it badly enough, visualize (daydream, imagine) it often enough, and do what it takes to make it happen, we often achieve our goal and end up with that object or person. 

If it is a new car, that first moment of sitting in it, smelling the new car smell, feeling the nice, new-car feel of the seat, looking at the shiny exterior and gadgety interior, the satisfaction that we feel in that moment is equally smug and possessive. We thought this reality into being, we think as we caress the steering wheel. We own this object, we think as we imagine ourselves driving around in it, being envied and admired. Unless it’s a Hoopty. Then we’re just glad to be rollin’. If it is a person, the first weeks or months are filled with kisses and soft nothings cooed in quiet corners or public spaces, and nights full of passion and eros. We thought this reality into being, we think as we caress soft or hard bodies, and are caressed in turn. We own this object, we think as we imagine ourselves being seen with this person, making a life with this person, being envied and admired. Unless we have low self esteem. Then we’re just glad not to be alone.

In either case, the same dynamic is in motion. The same feelings of ego-gratification are being satisfied, and the limits of the ego’s satisfaction with the current state of affairs are quickly approached as time and space conspire to create other desires, other wants, other needs. The car isn’t as fast as other cars, the man doesn’t have a 6-pack. The car rattles over bumps, the woman has love handles. The car is a gas guzzler and the man stinks up the bedroom in the early mornings. The monthly car payment is too high and the woman whines and complains all the time. We retreat back into our dreams and desires as reality checks us, and we quickly find out that the reality that we envisioned was limited, and, while we succeeded in manifesting our desires in the material world, the effect of that manifestation was only to create more desires, more wants, more needs.

The ego’s limitations are obvious. We envision things in an imcomplete fashion; there is no way that we can consider all of the infinite permutations that might be able to satisfy the depthless well of desire that we all tap into. But we are used to daydreaming about the perfect love, that car that could drive us into the sunset of all of our future imaginings, that house that we could live out our wildest fantasies in, or our most domestic dreams. By focusing our visualizations, Creation itself conspires to make the images real in our lives, be they positive or negative. And often, we don’t realize it when our desires, which seem so wonderful and positive on the surface, harbor deeper, darker aspects that reveal our true feelings and shortcomings. These  only become apparent when that visualization has manifested in our lives, and our reactions to and with it come to the forefront.

People often wonder why lottery winners often become bankrupt, battle with family and friends, or commit suicide. The symptoms only point to the cause of the disease: we speed from place to place in our brand new cars because we’re impatient, and get ticket after ticket. The beautiful woman becomes an object of jealous fixation. We wash the car incessantly, spending our paychecks on it. The man’s human shortcomings become an opportunity to harp on his every mistake. We think about the car incessantly and our pride grows out of control. We belittle and denigrate the woman, cause she doesn’t satisfy us sexually or clean the house, exactly as we would like for her to. The constant yearning and the impossibility of finding satisfaction in any and all material things are only the symptoms of the disease we call our desires and wants, which often mask themselves as needs. Only after we’ve attained our material goals, do we realize that they were not needs at all. Only ephemeral fancies that often pass in dramatic fashion, as we crash both the cars and the relationships into the Wall of Realization, and we finally figure out that we’d only gotten it partially right, this time and every time.

But before I begin to sound too pessimistic, what other possibilities are there? How is it possible to achieve the life and the material satisfaction we desire without falling into the trap of ownership and possessiveness, of pride and hubris? The key lies in letting go and letting G-d. Loving someone and setting them free. Being in the world but not of the world. Ending desire, and thereby, ending suffering. Refusing to play the egoic game anymore and releasing the habits that form the patterns of material consciousness that we are all so familiar with. Making the decision to commit to spirituality with your whole being, rather than just paying lip service to it on Sunday mornings, or during 15-minute meditation practices the third day of every other week.

Doing so – refusing to play the egoic game – will make you weird, guaranteed. Why? Because most people don’t do it, don’t want it and can’t understand it, and by committing yourself to self-knowledge and the pathless path, you commit yourself to leaving footprints in the sky, as my friend Deepam might say. Letting go of the race after material things goes against the worldly mindset and lifestyle, and by giving up the race you threaten those around you who value these things, and are still racing, as fast as they can. But you’ve crashed your dream car. Your dream relationship is over. Where do you go from there? What do you have to lose? What do you have to gain?

Your deepest wishes and desires are only a reflection of your birthright, our birthright, which is the manifestation of perfection upon the material plane. Not perfection as we imagine it to be, but perfection as evidenced by a life filled with mistakes, tragedies and the resultant growth and realization that reflects the beauty of Creation in its infinite ability to manifest Duality, thereby fulfilling the necessary conditions of Incarnation, in all of its multi-faceted wonder and beauty.

We hardly dare dream this dream, do we. We fear success more than we fear failure, often. We fear to even envision it, because we believe in our heart of hearts that we are not worthy. Concepts of original sin, Heaven and Hell, our petty imperfections and limited abilities; our social or cultural statuses, and our neuroses and foibles all conspire to limit our aspirations by killing them before they are even born. But the ability of the spirit to awaken us to our destinies shines through the darkness that we often embrace and encloak ourselves within, giving us glimpses of the dignity and nobility that seeks ever to come forth, that giving and loving heart that wants to share, to find the beauty in all people, and live lives of honor and respect, despite our externally-applied and internally-supported concepts of self-worth.

Making the simple choice to open yourself to the cosmos only means that we’re looking past thought. Doing so will automatically improve the quality of our lives. As the Law of Attraction states, it is possible to bring very specific realities into fruition, through our visualizations and our movement in the directions that open up in our lives as a result of those visualizations. But remembering that those visualizations are dependent upon our state of Being and our mindsets at the time that we are visualizing them should keep us mindful that their manifestation will probably be accompanied by unforeseeable disappointments. Therefore, keeping the images and feelings that go into our visualizations as general, open and expansive as possible allows Divinity/Multiversal Awareness/G-d to manifest realities according to our deepest desires, independent of our specific concerns and shortcomings; keeps them free of our ‘issues’, as much as is possible, given the incontrovertible conditions of Incarnation.

What does this mean? Don’t envision a specific kind of material object or a specific person. Think instead of being able to get where you need to go comfortably, and being able to take care of your business. Feel the warmth of the love you desire to give to another, and the mirror-effect of that love, as it is passed back to you, from that loving other. Immerse yourself in the feelings, let the images pass by in fleeting snapshots, concentrating instead upon the process of Becoming, and not the specific manifestations of objectification that tie us to the world and the objects therein.

Not desiring any thing or any one at all, of course, would be the inevitable goal of such a way of life. But that’s a subject for another time. For right now, let it be enough for us to realize that we do not have to be slave to our desires, just as we do not have to be slave to our egos. That they serve us, are tools of our Selves, to be used to bring us closer to Divinity/Multiversal Awareness/G-d, rather than to take us further away. Living our lifes in that realization guarantees the manifestation of that deepest desire of all, true joy – which lies beyond the duality of happiness and sadness – despite any and all material conditions.

By wanting and desiring less and less, we gain more and more. Sounds like a miracle, doesn’t it. And who could ask for any more than that?

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